Mouse Extra

Recent rumors have been spreading regarding an update to the Great Movie Ride. Specifically, there has been talk that the Sigourney Weaver/Alien section will be replaced with a Pirates of the Caribbean section. This got me thinking about what I would truly like to see done in an update to that great dark ride.

First of all, I am all for the idea of updating this attraction. To me, the Great Movie Ride is along the lines of the dark rides found in the Future World area of Epcot. Like those that look to the future, the history of films is also an ever evolving subject. Films leave the public conscience and new ones often take their place. Up until now, the attraction was “modernized” by tweaking the little film portion at the end, which come to think of it, is probably exactly why it’s there. But that’s a cheap way to do it. The Great Movie Ride was once a centerpiece, and now it’s not. Thanks to the additions of the Tower of Terror and Rock n’ Rollercoaster , it may never be again, but let us endeavor to make it something close.

So let’s go beyond the film portion to the meat of the ride, and examine what we can do to make better use of space and improve the experience. Keep in mind, I am only offering ideas for an update not a total rework, but a more intense update than the recent one at Pirates in the Magic Kingdom.

First, I would agree that removing Alien is okay. That film has lost its place and many people, especially children, have no idea what it is. So let’s do something that will never die. Let’s add a scene from Star Wars. It doesn’t matter which, but make it from the original film. One that comes to mind, because it won’t require anything out of the ordinary, is the scene when Darth Vader is interrogating the rebel soldier by lifting him by the neck off the ground. There’s little human movement, just some feet dangling and talking from the rebel, and the rest is Vader and a Stormtrooper or two. Re-theme the area to the interior of the spaceship it takes place on, and maybe even add some nervous looking rebels hiding in the corners.

Now I can hear it from the purists already; “There’s already a Star Wars attraction!” Well for one, this is AA driven and Star Tours is not. Also, Star Tours uses precious little of the actual characters from the films, but more importantly, can there ever be too much Start Wars? I mean, really?

Now I agree that the Pirates of the Caribbean films merit a spot in the ride portion. I mean, let’s be reasonable. Dead Man’s Chest is one of the highest grossing films of all time. It deserves to be there because it holds a major place in the history of not only Walt Disney Pictures but Hollywood in general. So let’s rework things a bit. I would suggest they remove the whole “Cast Member let’s the vehicle get hijacked and saves the day at the temple scene” nonsense. Keep the gangsters shooting each other if you like, but get rid of that silly storyline . It doesn’t work, and it is so over-the-top campy it gets annoying after a few times on the ride.

So take that space, a dark adventure-style area, and let’s put in some Pirates.  Not Jack Sparrow, we’ve seen enough of him.  How about the undead-skeleton version of the crew of the Black Pearl from the first film?  That could make a great AA driven scene.  Have Elizabeth Swann cowering in the corner while the cursed Captain Barbossa gives his dialogue.  There are more scenes that can be used, but that one comes to mind as a truly fun scene in Curse of the Black Pearl.

Of course, we would also need to update the film regularly.  They’ve done an update or two already, and that needs to continue.  But the part people really remember is the ride section.  It’s time to bring that up-to-speed.  Oh, and did I mention in exchange for these changes I promise not to complain about a gift shop they’ll need to add near the exit?